This is my dating life, more or less.

Posts Tagged: online dating

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I have a dream: to date someone in the circus. 

You won’t believe this email he sent me…

Well, about me… I am a grad student working on a masters in Counseling Psychology. I work with kids now, and want to continue to work with kids. I love them. I desire to live simply, and deeply. I work in the circus, at a non-profit circus school here in Seattle. It’s a wonderful workplace. 


This guy is the third and last person I’m in communication with. No, I haven’t told him I’m 1) going on a date, or 2) emailing other people. For all I know he’s doing the same. THAT’S WHY ONLINE DATING IS SO STRANGE. 

Maybe I’m just selfishly wanting to date a circus man because I want to take pictures with my film camera of the circus performers.

But I do have a dream to point at him soaring in the air, swinging from the trapeze, saying, “that’s my man!” 

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Here’s the new dilemma…

Tonight is my first date in 2 years. Before this I never actually went on “dates.” Neither with my first boyfriend or that one girl I dated for like a second. My first guy and I just sort of met through a mutual friend and then would hang out…they weren’t like dinner dates, first dates, or how-do-i-look dates. The girl and I just sort of miserably made dinner together at my apartment…while I usually just wished she had a mustache and a dick. Well, now I find myself going on a date with someone from cyberspace…at his apartment before we go out for dinner, tonight

I’m calmly stressed out of my fucking mind. This really sets the precedent, ya know? In a relationship with two men, does the bringing of the flowers imply that one man is the man? What if I show up to his door with flowers and HE has flowers for me? Do we punch each other? Wrestle? Arm wrestle? All to establish who is the man…

Do I bring a bottle of wine? What does that imply? That we’re going to get giggly drunk and make out while we watch Dargeeling Limited

Do I not bring anything? And risk being a complete schmuck?

Online dating is strange…he’s just a 2D image and a few texts…how am I supposed to establish anything from this? 

By the way, I’m going out to dinner with the Cat Guy.

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I hate the field. The dating field. The sea of fish. The freaked out people who think they’ll live the rest of their lives alone, so they are hyperactively trying to make connections and get laid. 

I always thought it was a sorry place to be. Maybe because I was afraid of it. But it is inevitable, the entrance. My time has come, I have avoided it long enough…making excuses, saying it wasn’t really that important. Yet, in one way or another, it’s all I can think about. It consumes me. So, I’m taking a dive, into the sea; sliding, onto the field. 

The hardest part is finding people. I am rather risk averse, so I don’t want to just go out to bars, alone…and I don’t want to build a friend group, helplessly have a crush on someone in that group, and then not have it work out…thus screwing the whole group over with crippling awkwardness and questions of, “aren’t we mature enough to not act like fucking middle schoolers!?!?!” 

And, because it is harder, I feel, to find normal guys who like guys out in the real world, I have opted for the online route. On the street one can assume people are heterosexuals…but have you ever tried to assume people are homosexuals…that doesn’t go over too well. It’s a fun guessing game with a high possibility of getting punched in the goddamn face. 

So online is the better option. I chose OkCupid because it is more social networky and super low key. It’s not a sorry market place for ugly homely people like eHarmony. It’s not the cougar-oriented place like Match.com. And it’s certainly not (although maybe one step above) Craigslist.org’s Personal Ads…which are as low and “functional” as one can get. OkCupid adds personality, humor, and a casual environment that us 20-somethings look for in our digital dating world.

All that to be said, online is the way life is in the 21st C…especially for the savvy gay…who doesn’t want to meet up in a local park or rely on eye-contact at bars to identify possible subjects.

I think you get my point.

Welcome to 21st Century dating, motherfuckers.