What I have learned about online dating is that 1) People are usually very friendly, 2) People are more open through email, 3) Writing ability is usually a good gauge on if I want to meet them in real life.
I also learn profound things about life through exchanges with people in my “boat.” I feel like I get a rare glimpse into the perspective of 20-somethings trying to figure out dating, life, and what to make of it all. And if you don’t always do online gay dating…I think you will learn something also about this all.
One aspect of this life that has always been on the forefront of my mind has been understanding homosexuality raised in a hard-headed Evangelical community. Regardless of your belief, you probably know there is an inherent incompatibility between these two groups…which shouldn’t be the case.
Anyway, there are some of us who have figured our shit out and grown up out of a little planter box of close-mindedness. Below are excerpts from one of my first OkCupid friends. He is a Pastor’s Kid and is currently driving around the U.S. and Canada visiting friends. Below I think you’ll find his spirit is a good one, and he offers grace to himself and others.
also came out to my pastor (whose church I was living in at the time) (N.B. - not my Dad) as one of the first people I told. I think everybody at all the churches I’ve gone to knows I’m gay by now. Actually, I hope they know. My Dad was pretty well known in our denomination, and to quote one of his former congregants who’s now a pastor “I’m just so glad Blank Blank’s son is gay!”. Being the son of a well-known pastor I realized that by being open about my sexuality I would be able to altar a lot of people’s perceptions about gays, simply by being my father’s son. I’ve volunteered with some pro-gay Christian groups in the past, which is why I say that I hope by now everyone knows I’m gay, it means I’m doing my job!
as far as being a PK, it’s actually not easy to find other gays who share religious beliefs, so I figured this was one way to help that search out.
Plus, I have the whole gay guilt trip to rationalize with. Straight people can assume anyone they meet on the street is potential, gays can’t, so I give us some slack for going the online route.